Thursday, 29 August 2013

A letter on the Middle East

A letter in a national paper published today:

'Sir - Iran is backing Assad. Gulf States are against Assad.
Assad is against Muslim Brotherhood. Muslim Brotherhood and Obama are against General Sisi.
But Gulf States are pro-Sisi! Which means they are against Muslim Brotherhood!
Iran is pro-Hamas, but Hamas is backing Muslim Brotherhood!
Obama is backing Muslim Brotherhood, yet Hamas is against the US!
Gulf States are pro-US. But Turkey is with Gulf States against Assad yet Turkey is pro Muslim Brotherhood against General Sisi. And General Sisi is being backed by the Gulf States.
Welcome to the Middle East and have a nice day.
KN Al-Sabah, London'

Tuesday, 20 August 2013

Edinburgh Fringe Top 10 Jokes 2013

Comedian Rob Auton has won an award for the funniest joke of the Edinburgh Fringe 2013 say the BBC.

The 30-year-old, from York, was given the prize by digital TV channel Dave, whose panel put a selection of their favourites to a public vote.

He won for the joke: "I heard a rumour that Cadbury is bringing out an oriental chocolate bar. Could be a Chinese Wispa."

The top 10 funniest included jokes by Tim Vine and Marcus Brigstocke.

The judges sat through hours of material before nominating their favourite three gags for the shortlist.

The top 10 were:

Rob Auton - "I heard a rumour that Cadbury is bringing out an oriental chocolate bar. Could be a Chinese Wispa."

Alex Horne - "I used to work in a shoe-recycling shop. It was sole-destroying."

Alfie Moore - "I'm in a same-sex marriage... the sex is always the same."

Tim Vine - "My friend told me he was going to a fancy dress party as an Italian island. I said to him 'Don't be Sicily'."

Gary Delaney - "I can give you the cause of anaphylactic shock in a nutshell."

Phil Wang - "The Pope is a lot like Doctor Who. He never dies, just keeps being replaced by white men."

Marcus Brigstocke - "You know you are fat when you hug a child and it gets lost."

Liam Williams - "The universe implodes. No matter."

Bobby Mair - "I was adopted at birth and have never met my mum. That makes it very difficult to enjoy any lapdance."

Chris Coltrane - "The good thing about lending someone your time machine is that you basically get it back immediately."